So last night the W and I talked during dropoff, we have a court appearance on Tuesday, so we started discussing that and before I know it we are knee deep in a serious discussion about everything. I let her know how hurt I was about not being asked to attend graduation ceremonies, she knew it was wrong and admitted as much, she let it be known she is still having trouble with the bitterness she feels and it gets in the way of her doing the right thing. I validated all she had to say and told her I knew it was probably difficult to come to that but I just wanted to let it be known that I was affected by it
I saw this as a chance, and still not sure if it was the right time or not, to let her know I was setting up boundaries going forward. I accepted her decision to leave and while I didn't agree with it I understood it was her decision and out of my control. I told her going forward since we are living separately she needed to be responsible for all her financials . No help from me with the rent or other bills. She gets plenty of CS from me and she should use it wisely. She needed to put the step kids on her insurance policy now and not have me still be their primary financial provider. I empowered her by telling her I know she was a strong capable woman and she can make this work and that this was all part of being independent and free.
She understood everything and all this was done in a civil manner with nothing but respect. It wasn't a lecture it was a free flowing conversation and it couldn't have went better. I know I saw it in her eyes that the reality of it all set in. She would have to budget, she knew I would not be there to bail her out if she overspent, it hit her it was all up to her.
I love my W and hope for the best for her, I told her none of that last night of course but I am now understanding that our M or any chance of R is less than slim to none. Not sure how I know this I just do. I'm saddened by it and of course I'm not giving up per se I'm just moving on.
WSB,
You are DBing like a pro! Keep up the great work
I'm so sorry that you weren't included in D's graduation. That must have been very painful.
It also sounds like you handled the text exchange today beautifully! Be cautious in how you proceed!
You are at a very fragile point in this relationship and it would be extremely helpful to know what your next move should be. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
