Doodler, I absolutely understand that and actually XH and I separated as soon as he admitted his affair. I knew from the very bottom of my being that I couldn't live with him whilst this was ongoing.

That said, I also knew that most A's don't develop into successful R's and I remained open to considering a possible R.

For me now, the door is pretty much closed and it would take a significant shift for me to even consider a possible R - however that's almost two years on and already D'd.

I wouldn't want you to think I can overlook infidelity - for sure that's not the case... smile

However, if I could have saved my M, I would have dug deep to try.

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus