14 days of sheer hell, part 7

[Sotto]

A couple of things stood out to me when I was trying to save my marriage.

Around two thirds of marriages actually do survive infidelity. That means that many people - believers and none believers do dig deep and want to rebuild things after infidelity. I wanted to believe that I was as committed and forgiving as the nest person.

The advice to wait for a good period of time - at least six months after discovering infidelity - before making a decision about ending your marriage. It takes a good while for the dust to settle and for thinking and feelings to become more clear.

These two things I thought of time and time again. Also important to me was that my XH was a good person to be M to until this happened and (so far as I know) hadn't cheated before. These things all influenced my decision to remain open to rebuilding things.

Ultimately my XH didn't want to do this. He remains with his affair partner (so far as I know) and saw the D through to conclusion. That's okay - and for me I do feel there is peace in having stuck it out and fought for my M, which mattered to me a great deal.

At this point - almost two years on - what matters most is who I have been, what I have done and why, and who I have become. I can sleep easy with all of that.

That's just my experience and we all vary - but just thought I would share...