I would like to challenge your thinking on the word PRO darknes. M is a decision not taken lightly, a vow between you and your W before God. A vow to commit to only one person until you die. Well, Im terribly non-religious. But in general, yes. This is what I interpret marriage to mean.
Your PRO is condoning infidelity. You're saying that even if my WW sleeps with the entire soccer team because I pushed her away, then I must learn to accept it and ultimately we need to find ourselves and each other. This goes against the monogamous institution that we all signed up for and once believed in, when we got married. Im not exactly sure thats what Im saying. I am not saying that all betrayals that are forgivable. What I am saying is that I would do and have done my best in an attempt to preserve my marriage. I dont believe that you need to exit a marriage in order to improve yourself or to improve your relationship. I dont think the actual act of being "Divorced" means a whole heck of a lot, but what it does is place extra barriers towards reconciling. I believe if you and your wife each can get to a healthy place, then being together is far better for all 3 of you than being apart. I see you throwing away that opportunity and Im not really sure for what benefit.
What chapter 1 of the DR book is saying, is that we should allow infidelity and accept polygamy in M. These are simple blips in the pursuit of happiness. Recovery from infidelity is HARD. And there is no shame in failing.
But to not try is failure. And it sets you, your wife, and your child into a different world that is likely worse for all of you.
I disagree. M for me is a choice, a choice to be together. My WW has made her wrong choice. I need to make the right one now. So you and W are making the same choice, but hers is wrong and yours is right?
The choice you need to make is the same one youve needed to make since you joined here. To become the best DDJ that you can be.
I still dont see what being married, separated, or divorced has to do with that.
