Feeling lost 2

[srt]

struggling with the point of all this now.

I've DB'd for me, made some gains, but it seems to be two steps forward and one step back.

I know our issues can be easily worked on and solved, and I know my part in this, but she is unwilling to accept the circumstances which caused all this, or work on the M at all.

I feel like giving up but I know that is not an option.

W has major communication issues and seems happy to bury her head in a mixture of work, facebook, and doing "family stuff" with her M&F. She is oblivious to the effect of this on her children, and is annoyed by how calm and collected I am.

I've been working on tough love principle, and trying to show her exactly what a D looks like.

TBH I am still unsure what her actual problem is, after the resentment she has for me. AFAIW the is no OP, unsure if W is WAW or wayward. I and many of my friends think she is in MLC, but this may have been brewing for 4 years now???

FOO issues galore, MIL v enmeshed, and FIL controlling. Result is W feels like a little girl around them and is happy to jump to their tune - I was not.

W family aware of issues prior to DB day but did nothing - no suggestion of counselling??? Instead happy to support her ripping family apart!

W was giving all signs of being in an affair, and when confronted upon the problem took every opportunity to deny or play down the situation.

After DB she said she had "bottled it all up" and was "done".

I feel like no option but to get legally sorted with division of assets now, before things sour. MC has said we are now at the point where we cannot salvage things - I wonder how she can know this - I know I'm still willing to work on it and certain that if we put in the effort it can be saved. W knows this and has made no effort to do so.

How long do I wait for her?
How can I tell if she is in MLC?
Is pursuing legal division of assets pushing her towards a D?
Is tough love backfiring on me?
Should I change my strategy?

So many questions, please help me out folks, even if only a reply of support.
This week has been one of the toughest in the last 10 months.