Hurt, lonely, drowning

[mbebos]

Been almost 3 months since my last post. I just haven't had much to say. I am still upset about the divorce, but I have come to terms with it. I am moving on with my life. My weight loss has completely reversed and I put all of the weight back on once I started eating normal again. Finally had my endocrine appointment after waiting since January, and they confirmed my low Testosterone and inability to lose weight without drastic measures like not eating normally for months, is related to a massive hormonal issue caused by a brain tumor. It is a rather large brain tumor, causing a whole host of issues. Treatable with medication, but I still feel physically like crap all the time, it could take months to start to feel better, and years for it to shrink. Even though I gained all of the weight back I still go to the gym, although until my T comes back up, I am not seeing any results aside from the physical satisfaction of the exercise. The treatments for the tumor kick my butt hard.

Socially I have been busy. I made a few new friends from an extended network of existing friends. They do a bit more than drink in bars which is nice. Still trying to build relationships with my father's family I didn't see for 20 years. Slow but steady.

Mentally I have been doing much better. Work has been good, when I am not in hospitals or doctor's offices. Lots of appointments. Still doing IC. No clue what the W is doing. I don't care really. I miss her family, not her. She has been away on business for a month, comes home for a few weeks and moves across the country. Not sure when she plans on filing, she never got it done between March and May before she left for business.

The day of my last post I started packing her stuff (she took next to nothing with her), and in 3 weeks time handed her a key and a pass code for a storage unit and said here you go. She was utterly shocked. Apparently she thought that I was going to sit in "our" apartment forever and not make it my own.

No new relationships or flings for me. I just don't want it. Too much going on with my health right now, just trying to keep that going in a positive direction.

Hope all is well with all of you.