• Only start conversations pertaining to pertinent things, which excludes any R or M conversations • Validate when WW starts to get aggressive and looks for an argument • Stop snooping regarding WW’s movements (I stopped doing this about 3 weeks back so am over it. I think it was co-dependency, as a piece of me was missing) • Do not look at phone when WW is out, she can call the home phone (This is only when she is out with her new friends and S is with me, normally late night)
Click to reveal..
• Be mysterious (taking this off, as I’m doing this to get a reaction out of her, focus is in the wrong place)
• Let others make their own decisions, do not control • Maintain my composure and come across as calm, remain cordial with all interactions • Do not go on forum for more than 2 hours a week day, and not on wknds (I did well this wknd without it) • Do not react to anything anyone says or does, pause and then consider my response (Will look into things on mindfulness, I have had a tendency to not be mindful of what I say and when to say it)
Improve myself (GAL) • I will go to gym at least 3 to 4 days a week (Still have not gone as things wind themselves down) • I will eat only healthy and nutritional food. (I have eaten take out twice in the last month, doing great and have an appetite now, actually always hungry now) • I will do something different every wknd, for myself and with my S. • No porn (Yeah, I was addicted to porn, but worse as I introduced my WW to it too. But its now 5 weeks and no porn, so yay! Very easy to drop tho) • Open up to others, be myself and understand that my actions impact on others, positive or negative – I choose the impact. • I will ensure that I reduce my curses throughout the day (this is a new one and very difficult) • No Alcohol (no issues, my WW does though, I used to drink just cos she’d finish the whole bottle if I did not - 5 weeks sober too!)
Understand boundaries and implement some • Get S to understand that he must listen to his parents • No kissing, sex, intimacy, or hugging allowed with WW(this is the best boundary I could ever have had)
Appreciate the little things • Affirm and compliment someone everyday (she is trying, making food for me but I’m saying no, definitely my give-up mentality, will work on it, going to have to 360 that then) • Show physical love (to my mother and son, and friends that I interact with – with a hug really) (NEW) Be thankful to God for the small things which i've always taken for granted.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
