Not knowing what way it would go or what the aftermath would be I sat down with my wife.
I stated clearly and calmly TWICE the boundary that there is no way I will be in a relationship with someone who is in another relationship. I stated that I was not accusing her nor was I saying I believed she was in another relationship, but I wanted to be clear. I did say that I was going to take my time to decide what I actually thought of the situation. I also said we would see if there were other developments. She said it was clear, assured there was nothing and would be nothing.
That is the short version. We chatted around it for half an hour . She never mentioned us so I didn't see the point in starting a R talk.
For once I am sure it was the right thing to do. No second guessing. View that there was no real confrontation or negative reaction, it has not had any immediate effect. EXCEPT that I brought up the subject, set my boundary and in doing that took back some power/control going forward.
Just after I went out to water the garden and unusually she followed me and did a little weeding.
No battle, no war, no bomb..........
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
