The OM is just a prop in YOUR play, he is nothing other than someone who is there and accessible to your wife. So confronting him is really a waste of time and energy and could possibly be fraught with other potential problems. Originally Posted By: roiste
I am not afraid of confronting my W. And unless I have another convincing reason not to, I'll do so tonight. OK I propose to just state that I have thou about it and do not find it normal or appropriate what happened Saturday. night. Would you advise to go further and speak in general?
Whereas I do not fear bringing up the topic with W, I am unsure if it will help. I suppose short term it will push us a part more, but maybe with time she will respect it.
Any tips/advice about best approach? Anything to avoid?
I hope that you are detached enough that when she denies anything has happened you are not pulled into a fight and you can just walk away from the conversation. Yes this is about winning the war not this battle. I think you seem to know based on what you wrote above.
The point is, if things are going to get worse then it is only a matter of time anyways.
Basically you have a boundary that you will not be in a relationship with her if she is in a relationship with some one else.
I hope that is clear.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together