WAS or what (recap for me)

[roist]

Post by Zephyr 11 june 15
So I know I've posted that to you and for myself as well...the crumbs as we call them are important to understand as far as WHY they are coming to us.

Is the wife stringing us along with tiny crumbs trying to keep us hooked or is she trying to make a connection with you...because she is still there and deep down there is still something? that is for you to ultimately decide, but it does not have to be today.

It is a whole lot easier to see the difference between those things when you have REALLY started to detach yourself from her struggle, from her pain, from your enmeshment with her emotionally. I started to actually see loving gestures from my wife when I actually started making progress. Things she did clearly for me not to placate me or keep me hooked. With detachment is also easier to show loving gestures to her Without expectations from her or as a result of those gifts, acts, words, touches or what evers. That is the struggle of pursuit vs. showing love freely...it all kinda hinges on the same topic of you stopping the need for control over your wife, over your marriage, over your future.

If you have questions....blast away. someone smarter than me will be here to help YOU interpret or help with how to apply this to your situation, because although the particulars of the marriage conflict is different than most, your stuggle with who you are and how you are reacting is very similar to the rest of us.

Remember, the 37 rules are amazing, very succinct guidelines...the only real rule is to do what works and if it aint working try something else.

First things first ... Focusing on YOU, the rest will come.