WAS or what (recap for me)

[roist]

Post by sandi 27 may 2015

Sorry I have been so long getting back with you. I do want to respond to something I believe you've brought up a couple of times.
Quote:
I am still unsure of my actions due to the fact that there has not been a definite bomb drop. But the logic of the posts here makes a lot of sense.


I did not drop a bomb on my H. He discovered my Internet activity, and I discovered he knew his way around a computer a whole lot more than I gave him credit! I was so fogged out of my mind that I never thought he would actually "see" the conversations OM and I were having.

Here's the thing, as long as things are going her way, she may not feel the need to bomb drop. It really did not occur to me to do it anytime soon, although, I had started slowly preparing to find me an apartment. Crazy!

My advice would be to continue the 37 rules, detach, work on personal improvement goals, GAL, and use 180's.

I think you had a question about the conversations.
Quote:
15. When at home with your spouse, (if you usually start the conversation---then don't, wait for him/her) then, be rather scarce or with your words, but don't sound rude or too short like you are mad. If your spouse asks what's wrong....just say "nothing" and have a pleasant expression on your face. Keep it short and simple. Don't get into an argument! Stay polite and don’ t act like you are pouting. Use poise and class. This does not mean to act like you aren’t speaking, but don’t be overly talkative.


Although the LBH may not be able to see himself in a pursuing mode, trying to prompt her into conversations can be seen that way from her point of view. A lot of LBH's try to get closer to his W by having these conversations, and then over-kills by being too eager and too talkative.......hanging onto every syllable she says.

I would sum it up by saying, let her lead in conversations. Do not leave the impression you are giving her the cold shoulder or silent treatment. OTOH, don't be too talkative and trying to get her to talk longer. Women are pretty keen to spot this right away.