That's really the thing. I don't have any clue about how often this works. But I know that begging, reasoning, crying, etc didn't and doesn't work. And even if it got her to stay a little while, I don't see how employing those behaviors would lead to a significant change in the M - so we'd be stuck in the same place or right back here afew months later. So I truly believe this is the only way.
As for pushing her away, that's what it feels like. But you're really not. Think about it like you're on awalk together and she's three paces ahead of you. If you stop walking, she might take another 1/3/5/10/100 steps before she realizes you aren't following anymore. That's when it's up to her to decide whether to come back to find you or just keep going. She knows where you are, she knows how to find you. Luckily, you were the love of her life, so it's unlikely she will keep walking forever. Also, luckily, you haven't just been twiddling your thumbs while she was walking - you've been getting stronger, smarter, BETTER. So when she finds you again, she will be able to see those changes and take interest.
Another post borrowed from another thread. (Matt777)
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
