In a sense I have been happy with my crumbs whilst waiting for something else. My wife doesn't cringe at my touch but does not initiate touching. I guess I was settling for being allowed to touch. By touch I mean physical contact, hand on leg type of stuff, nothing more elaborate. Same in bed I would leave my arm extended and have contact. Whereas this was probably reassuring for me, it also made me feel pathetic. I have pulled back on initiating touch and although preferred more contact, I feel a bit better for not settling for crumbs. I sleep a bit better too.
Good, it does feel like 'groveling' for tidbits that she will allow. glad you see this.
I am becoming less concerned about my wife's reactions and am trying to be less affected by negative signs. Positive signs too. I am preparing myself for the possibility that we may split and am starting to think about practicalities. That being said I am not going to move on that as if she wants out she will have to do the necessary herself. But I owe it to myself and my sons to have thought it through.
Wonderful. This is not easy for most of us and if you are being honest with yourself, then GREAT WORK. Have you done some research with local lawyers for custody information or ultimately preparing for what a divorce could entail. it will help you with the fear aspect of things, to help you understand what YOUR rights are and to help you figure out that you will survive / thrive no matter what happens.
Stay positive!!!
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
