So, this reads like you 'needed' someone to complete the picture of who you needed to be - but when she didn't quite match up you criticised etc. Why couldn't you bear to look at her when she put on weight?

It doesn't sound as though you were able to build an authentic connection with your W. Or accept who she was. Why do you think that was? And yes, clearly she also wasn't the perfect spouse.....and of course there are no perfect spouses out there...

So, you had a sexual attraction but were never 'in love' with the woman you married?

I agree there may well be some lessons for you both here. And it sounds as though you BOTH need to find your own feet. Just remember that 'her' lessons are not yours to teach her - try and focus on your own lessons....and this is a work in progress for you from what you post above.

Good luck moving forwards smile

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus