A new crossroad reached

[mleigh4]

Hi Irish. you hit it pretty much on the nail for me. I am done with the H of today and the past 3 years. I loved my H before very much, and if he was to start to evolve back, and wanted to work on us, I believe I would certainly take notice and listen.

Hi HW. The last time H mentioned to me that I said I was happy now, I corrected him by saying, I am happy because I turned a chitty situation into an amazing life changing experience that I have learned from. Seems all he heard was, I am happy.

I agree, he sounds very hurt when we talked. His whole demeanor changes, his face gets long and gloomy, like talking to a child who is in trouble. When I told my co-workers about his statement of "you didn't want me", 2 of them said right away, that sounds like childhood issues. I got the very strange feeling like, in his mind, the tables are turned. Almost like he thinks I created and continue on with this limbo! However, my H is a master manipulator, and you through MLC mumbo jumbo on top.....

I admit, I fought it, but he did get into my head a bit. It didn't take long for me to snap back into the real world and out of his world. It actually angered me a bit. If I hear, one more time, his cry about how I neglected him, I will reach over and pull a hair out of his arm. One more time! GET OVER IT!!

Thing is, marriage should be a partnership with unconditional love. (Job's words). People make mistakes, together you should learn and grow from them. it's a learning process just like everything else in life. Mistakes will always be made, it's human. This would explain why we are all here, our beliefs. Knowing my H, he does not have these same values.... I have some good stuff to bring to the table when we talk. I agree that his thinking is very immature.

Cali-I know talking to him right now may be a waste of time and useless, but it's something I need. He encouraged it, so who knows.

On to some GREAT news! H and I attended an awards ceremony for S at school tonight. He made Principal's List for straight A's!! I am over and beyond proud, he worked hard and responsibly this year for those grades. When I got there, I took S to his teacher, then got myself a seat near the front. I did not save one for H, figured I would just let it play out on its own. The seats filled up fast. I saw H walk in and go up to S, then head towards the back for a seat. About 5 minutes later, he TM to say it looked like S was looking for me and wanted to make sure I was there somewhere. (eyeroll) I told him, yes, I was, that S and I were making faces at each other. This was the first time being at an event for S, where I did not care for H to sit next to me. I felt nothing, no loss, about it. I sat tall and proud, all smiles.

After, we all went outside together to take some pics of S with his award, then went our separate ways. How sad, I thought, that you won't be celebrating such an accomplishment with your S tonight. Sad indeed and his loss.