What Should I be doing (4)

[cbtdad]

Wow Coconut!!!
I have a feeling once your emotions settle down you will see what happened there.
I completely felt like I was reading a text exchange between my W and I
I mean seriously exactly alike. It was like that between my and my W for so long. And I never really let it go. It's why I am here again. She was open, transparent, and did the things I asked to help me regain trust.
However because of my own control issues I could never really let it go.
It got to a point she would delete texts or be scared to show me her phone because I would over react to everything she said in texts, etc
In my mind I would think the worst. In hers she was just being herself.
See I'm learning that I was trying to create a dream W in my head. That my W would never do anything to put our marriage in jeopardy. That she would realize to what is most sacred to ME! Because in my mind I owned her. She was mine. I'm not saying you have the same issues I do, but I completely see some of that in your text to your W because it was me.
There are so many times now I see something on FB and I want to quickly text W, but I understand now that is not going to get what I want.
I instead am learning how to communicate from a place of what is really bothering me. So when I figure that out I do bring it up. And if I can't figure it out and I'm just angry because she isn't doing what I want her to, I realize that and let it go
It's not going perfectly, but it's taking a lot of patience and understanding my issues this time around
You are in a good place with your W. It's just gonna take some time
Hang in there