Pink, Sending congratulations to your son on his graduation. I'm also sorry to read that you had to make a trip to the ER w/your S18. I do hope he's feeling better soon. It was nice that your XH came and was supportive to both you and your son.
I sense that you are struggling as to what to do or not do w/the situation w/your XH. Maybe you are thinking too hard about the situation at this time and you need to just step back a little and allow nature to take its course. Instead of over thinking the situation, if you are comfortable w/the XH being around once in a while, then enjoy his company, i.e., just like a neighbor coming to visit, and when it's time to go home or have appointments, excuse yourself and go on about your business. Think about how it was for you and your XH in the beginning. You met, talked and became friends and then did some things together and slowly, but surely, began to spend more and more time together. For now, leave the expectations at zero and try to enjoy his company. If he gets a little bit too forward, call him on it and just be honest and tell him that you are uncomfortable w/getting "too" friendly at this time.
If you want to cut all ties and treat him truly as the "XH", then you'll need to nip all of those advances/nice things he does or says in the bud by stating firmly what your boundaries are when it comes to spending time w/you.
Pink, you are the only one that can decide do you want to start out as friends and leave your situation at that stage for a while or do you want to end it and just be civil? You've got plenty of time to decide how you want your relationship w/your XH to be...don't rush the process just because you are frustrated and/or discouraged. Whatever you decide to do, I will be here to support you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
