I have calmed down now and I can think clearly enough to see that there is no point hoping for R. I don't like OW but I didn't like the comment he made about her. He said that it won't be his problem if he cheats on his OW and just laughed! I really felt uncomfortable for her.
H said that several times he tried to talk to me but I wouldn't listen to him, that every time he tried to suggest something I'd be negative. I told him yes that he was right but that I now realised that I suffered from depression but didn't get any support from him. To which he replied he had his own problem to deal with.
H doesn't like being wrong. It's always the others faults never his! He doesn't like confrontation, and he is an conflict avoider.
Why can't I see that this relationship was wrong from the beginning! Why can't I see that I deserved better! H has even recognise that he feels that my job isn't as valued as his because I have the luxury to have more holidays than him! I work really hard to get my degree and to be where I am!
The funny thing is that when I challenged him about the amount of holidays he has left, he said that he hasn't have to justify himself but still has given me an account of his days' left! What a plonker!
Also H looked surprised when I told him something and for a minute I saw a glimpse of old H! He said that he'd not help me move and that it was my fault if I'd be homeless as I didn't ask him to come and view the first house that I had to pull out. I told him that I did a survey and asked him for his advice but he didn't reply! Then a couple of minutes later cane back to say that he'll help me move ! I guess his guilty conscience played a part in it!
Also H is annoyed because I told him that he'll need to have to kids staying with him until the house sale goes through! He said that it couldn't work with his work and he thought that I'd be living with his dad. I kindly replied that his kids haven't seen him for over a month now!
All this started as I'm moving in 2 weeks and the queries I had haven't been addressed by seller and I have been on their case since beginning of May!
He said that I have started this conversation to have a fight as I'm stressed about the house business. I said yes I am but not due to lack of pestering solicitor and that if it wasn't for his actions, I'd not be in this situation!
I know I shouldn't have but I sent him a text asking him to read about depression because we both suffer ( me less as I'm seeing the end of the tunnel) from it but refuse to acknowledge it!
When he came round he didn't look that happy either. I have noticed this a couple of time now. I can't save him. He isn't learning from his mistakes when I pointed it out to him that it has destroyed not one but twice his own family! I guess he won't be staying round much now. Didn't even say goodbye to kids and they didn't asked where he was! Like my IC said he was staying a bit more round because he was feeling comfortable, I guess now he won't :-).
He said that the kids were ok, and I replied thanks to me because I have kept the disruption to a minimum for them. I also added that when they are older they will learn why we split up and he said that it wouldn't matter because they probably would have a different opinion! What a loser!
Thanks for reading my rant. I want to journal it, so in a couple of years when I read them I would be able to see how far I have come and grow!
