My third post - please be nice

[Rose888]

I shouldn't of said that, I know, because it's relationship talk and pursing and that doesn't do any good. But I didn't quantify myself like I should of. I just acted like all I had to do was wait out the 6 months and she'll come be-bopping back home. I know it's not the case. What I meant to say was, you are coming back because I'm going to do what I need to do to ensure it.

You can't ensure it. You could DB perfectly and she could still choose to leave permanently.

I know it's hard, but if you can accept it, you will spare yourself unnecessary pain.

The reality of your marriage is part what you each do and part how you each think and feel about what you each do. You can control only half of the equation.

H and I were discussing my summer bucket list yesterday, and at one point he said, "Maybe you really have changed." I can change all I want, but unless he can open to the idea that change is possible, he won't really "see" the change.

I'll still be better off for having made the changes, but those changes might not save the marriage.