First Post - Need help (2)

[EDF]

Struggling today, woke up and my W is the first thing on my mind. I'm starting to question how long I can do this for and I'm convinced that as every day goes by I'm losing her a little bit more

Truly detaching is hard! It's something I continue to struggle with.

For me, at first even GAL activities that should have been fun were just painful reminders of the absence of the W. Watching a movie solo, or playing an online game with a friend, felt wrong and made me very anxious. Like I shouldn't be doing this... my W should be here too... my marriage is in crisis and I should be doing something to fix it rather than just "wasting time" and having fun! I approached every day thinking what can I do to make things better between us? To make her see the real me again?

It took several attempts before I started to be able to enjoy the non-W activities even a little bit, and it can still be rough. It is still an ongoing process to try and not let her emotional rollercoaster derail my day, and to not plan my actions around her.

It's gotten better, but it's still painfully slow. Wish there was a faster way, but there's no way to get where we need to go without wading through the pain and the [censored]. It's important to remember that we need to get through the pain and the [censored] regardless of what happens, whether we reconcile or move on, so we just need to keep dusting ourselves off and keep getting back up and moving forward.

There will always be ups and downs, but you're more than strong enough to do what needs to be done and get yourself to a better place!