WAW,still angry, am I indifferent or detached now?

[Bear007]

As I started DBing, it was with the hope to save my marriage. I thought I wanted to be he man she was initially attracted to. But I saw that I would never be that 25 year old young man that was trying to find his way in the world. Nor did I want to be that man. I wanted to be a better man than that. I have been a father since I was that man. I have lived in a marriage that was more broken for years than I was willing to accept. I was a man that was fighting for marriage, because my family was the most important thing to me, and now I see that she stopped fighting more years ago than I am willing to admit.

Maybe I started detaching years ago to protect my self, as she did not seem interested in working as partners and progressing in our evolution as people, parents ,and spouses. I hoped that she would see changes and desire to change as well. What happened is resentment and anger took hold instead.

Now is the time to continue to change and evolve and not simply be the man only a fool would leave, but it is to attract the woman, that a good man, father and future husband deserves to continue to evolve with. ...

This is a long post and although we have different stories, some thing resonated with me, and I could connect them to my situation and also empathize with you.

Mine W started to grow not when I pushed her (and I have been trying to get out of her shell for a long time), but when she decided to - basically when she fell in love and wanted to win the heart of fitness coach.

also, 'As I started DBing, it was with the hope to save my marriage. '.
DB was for me also a hope, but later on - a way to stay sane in this new unexpected life-changing situation.

At the end, we must stay father figure, and work to be best version of ourselves.

Thank you for this inspiring post, I will return to this post in future - insights in this are too big for one reading.