Some latent anger from DDJ I would think any woman would love to have a man that cooks and cleans.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
So i've been keeping in light contact with OM's wife. Just updates from time to time, you know to make sure our spouses are behaving.
Its grown a little in frequency, mostly her venting about how the H has and is treating her. Me lending a sympathetic ear.
She laments not having a life, she stays home, makes dinner and lunch for H yet H is still being wayward. So i encouraged her to GAL. Let him watch the kids for once.
Now shes asked me out for drinks, that we go to the border (cause thats the only place to get drinks~ its only 15 mins from my house) and thats where OM and my W went for drinks with their office mates. A little sweet revenge in the mix.
Man I want to but i cant help but think this will not bode well for my sich. Is it GAL to go out with the OM's wife? or is it a big no no.
Assuming we can even keep this strictly platonic but i also have my doubts there. We are both hurt, neglected and yearning for comfort / reassurance.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
Some latent anger from DDJ I would think any woman would love to have a man that cooks and cleans.
Yes a man that holds his own. Not one who is a doormat.
When I am in an R, and I work I expect my man to do his share of the chores. If he doesn't then I am overloaded. You live here so you do your share. You take care of the kids.
Chores are admin in life. I don't love my partner for doing his share. I get annoyed if he doesn't though. It can be different chores, it's whatever works for you.
I hate cleaning so we had a cleaner, gardening is not for me so I have a Gardner for the heavy stuff. I love cooking, decorating, washing, tidying, heavy duty cleaning, repairs. The household accounts and ironing XWH did. Little did I know he had a gambling issue. Eventually all he did was his own ironing, and after BD2 I stopped specifically doing his washing and then he complained about my cooking and shopping so I said either give me a list or buy your own. If I cooked and there was extra then that was good, if he wanted my food he could have it. If not get your own.
There is nothing nicer than sharing some chores as a couple. Some of its good fun. Other chores just need to be done. Whatever works.
Did I love him for doing chores?
Not really as he resented doing anything in the end.
Did I appreciate him for some of it?
If I was overloaded it was great to come home to find the bed changed or the fridge restocked.
H1 (who died) and I were muscrats with chores. He loved food shopping and cooking particularly. He like decorating together.
H2 loved gardening, his hobby. It is great that he enjoyed his garden. We were married for 20 years and pretty much bumped along.
H3 hated anything domestic. Anything at all at the end and sulked if he had to do anything. That was unpleasant I carried him. So I found that very unattractive. Clean your own shower and loo? Change a light bulb or two? Push a hoover? Wipe up after yourself? Put dirty dishes in the dishwasher? All basic.
Howe've love you for doing it, no not at all.
An adult pulls their weight and expects another to do the same. No attaboys for that. Just do your share, especially the things your partner hates if you enjoy doing it. When your partner is overloaded or ill then a bit more heavy lifting.
That's my take on it.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
She needs to get her comforting from someone else who is not M, least of all M to her H's OW. Perhaps you could suggest to her to get IC?
Agreed JKSD, i wont lie though there is a little devil on my shoulder telling me how sweet revenge on the OM it would be. Alas i should file that under fantasy. I have actually suggested a number of times for her to go see an IC.
Originally Posted By: Vanilla
Howe've love you for doing it, no not at all.
An adult pulls their weight and expects another to do the same. No attaboys for that. Just do your share, especially the things your partner hates if you enjoy doing it. When your partner is overloaded or ill then a bit more heavy lifting.
That's my take on it.
V
Gotta agree with this. Although i think to take it a step further a women will love the idea of a man that cooks, cleans etc but you will never actually be loved for it.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
Gotta agree with this. Although i think to take it a step further a women will love the idea of a man that cooks, cleans etc but you will never actually be loved for it.
My STBXW loves another man and loves that I cook and clean and provide financial support while dating the OM.
