You don't have to feel strong. You just keep going. That is strong
Listen to sandi, she has helped many a lbs in such situations.Her advice can only help.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
W ring me or txt me everyday, I'm trying to think of a way of change my availability, I've limited by not responding! However this seem to just make her chase harder more calls and txt's
Also wants to know where I am, what I'm doing etc!
Not sure what to do?
Me: 40 W: 36 T21 M17 S12 D10 D10 ILYBNILWY EA happened. PA happened. June 2016 trying to piece our M and life's back together...
Thinking of messaging something like this to her "I can't be on the end of a phone for you all the time, that changed when your feeling for me changed, unless it an emergency or something that can't wait"
Me: 40 W: 36 T21 M17 S12 D10 D10 ILYBNILWY EA happened. PA happened. June 2016 trying to piece our M and life's back together...
W ring me or txt me everyday, I'm trying to think of a way of change my availability, I've limited by not responding! However this seem to just make her chase harder more calls and txt's
Also wants to know where I am, what I'm doing etc!
Not sure what to do?
Sometimes the W chasing you is a positive step, (meaning she is getting more interested in your life), and then sometimes it is her wanting more control....or to even keep you attached to her. Which do you think it is?
If it is unwanted and you find it a nuances, then make yourself more unavailable and not respond to her texting throughout your working hours, at the least. Don't answer anything that is not a direct question that merits an answer. I suggest you tell her that during working hours, you had rather wait till the end of the day to text.....unless it is an emergency.
Quote:
Thinking of messaging something like this to her "I can't be on the end of a phone for you all the time, that changed when your feeling for me changed, unless it an emergency or something that can't wait"
I understand, and I don't blame you for feeling that way. If you want to reconcile with her at some point, I'd suggest you not come across as if you are wanting to punish her.
How about something like, "Considering our situation, I'm sure you'll understand that my availability to you has changed. Please do not ask my parents or others about my whereabouts unless it is extremely urgent". Don't know if that's any better wording, b/c I'm not that great at it, myself.
If she is one of these people who continually talk all day long by texting, then you'll probably need to be more blunt. And, if she is simply trying to keep tabs on your life as a way to control......then, I'd say go with your first example.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
[quote] Sometimes the W chasing you is a positive step, (meaning she is getting more interested in your life), and then sometimes it is her wanting more control....or to even keep you attached to her. Which do you think it is?
I'm not sure, when thing have been good in the passed she has always been keen to exchange txt and call! Even got a X today which I've asked her not to do!
She hadn't been calling me or txt me at all leading upto the I don't love you speech!
She seem very emotional when I dropped the kids off after the weekend away, what to know everything! Commented that she was finding it hard etc
Me: 40 W: 36 T21 M17 S12 D10 D10 ILYBNILWY EA happened. PA happened. June 2016 trying to piece our M and life's back together...
Blu, you are doing exceptionally well... Your WW is noticing your absence, she is reaching out to you to get your back in her grasp. Keep doing what you are doing. Don't answer every text, and when you do need to answer, at least wait a few hours to respond. If she keeps calling over and over, maybe pick up one of the calls, just say "I'm busy now and can't talk, I will call you back later" and disconnect.
You have peaked her curiosity, you are starting to become interesting to her, of course all of it is for not until she leaves the OM, but if you become more interesting that is what she will want to do.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
[quote] I understand, and I don't blame you for feeling that way. If you want to reconcile with her at some point, I'd suggest you not come across as if you are wanting to punish her.
I would like to but I just can't see it happening, I have little or no hope or expectation!
Me: 40 W: 36 T21 M17 S12 D10 D10 ILYBNILWY EA happened. PA happened. June 2016 trying to piece our M and life's back together...