Chapter 2, She moved out - I win! I think

[bigybiz]

Wow - what an evening:

W shows up at the family counselling despite the fact she does not like the Dr and she was told by another Dr not to attend. She says our boys told her to come - so she came.

During the session - S15 tells all of us, that mum should not get to visit at the family home. The boys should visit at her place - remember all she has is a room in house, sharing kitchen, etc.

Well she did not like that

Then the Dr tells her that two nights a week and all day Saturday is about half of the available time for visits. She did not like that at all.

I invited her over to talk about other details, $, etc. I told her she should have spoken to me first - remember she did not return my call, etc. I would have caved and let her use the house for visits. I stayed strong and did not offer. Especially since S15 thought since she left - we should visit her at her house. I could not cave on his request.

I did slip and ask her how she was - she told me as to be expected. I'm thinking the reality of the situation is leaching in:

She has her dream job - but 50% of her pay is coming to the home she left

She feels that she should see the kids more than she should - but the Dr felt what she is getting is adequate

She really took it hard when S15 (who is sweet and loyal) told her she should not come over -She actually said in the Dr's office "It seems that I'm not allowed to come over"

She says she misses her kids - but I truly think they don't miss her that much.

I'm not sure if this helps me or hurts me. I was careful not to gloat. When she asked me how I was doing, I was a little positive. I did not want to be boastful. I was hoping my actions were speaking more than words. The kids are fed and happy, the house looks better than it has in years, I've got the garden coming together (that was her thing when she lived here). I told her work was very busy. I did not talk about upcoming projects etc.

We have an appointment for our S10 this week. She asked if we could go together - I said yes. Not sure if that is right or wrong - but she asked not me.

Detaching not happening yet - but tonight the reality is creeping in.

Is this the kind of loss MWD talks about that could bring WW/WAW home?

I'll keep on with the GAL - that's easy. The detaching is the next big step.

What should I implement on Thursday when we are driving across town when going to the Dr's appt.

All ideas are welcome. These self inflected wounds could be start of the turning point.

Any ideas on how to keep that going?