Drop the Rope VII

[Vanilla]

Now that I have upset you then I will be V the dancing accountant again.

So......

Zephyr I see you are changing. The adult is tackling and protecting your hurt child. I believe that's good.

Which boundaries will help you most?

In answering when others try to define you, what will make you authentically you?

What I think of you and what others think of you is their business. There is little anyone can do to import thoughts to anothers mind. In any case it's temporary. What Zephyr thinks of himself is perfectly fine, Zephyr is perfectly fine just as he is, in my book.
And those are my thoughts about Zephyr.

I want you to know your dad is more responsible than your mum in the FOO. The one that enables and stands by is more culpable than the controlling parent. This is because that amplifies the control, every child can thrive with one healthy parental role model. Your dad seems to have abdicated his role. I would recommend sharing the anger. You were a child this is not your fault in any way. Not at all. Nothing you did caused this and you could never change it.

Just as in CSA the adults who permit the abuse are more responsible than the perpetrator of it. They could stop the abuse immediately. They thus abuse with an abuser, and by ignoring what is in front of their eyes they encourage worse abuses.

It is easy in adulthood to get mad at the obvious target, we can spread that to the whole sitch and learn to manage it. That is lesson learned management.

I ask you Zephyr to forgive yourself for not forgiving yourself.

V