Weird Reaction

[sandi2]

When someone is cheating, they tend to try and deny, make excuses, deflect blame, make the accuser feel like they are crazy, etc.

My WW definitely followed that pattern, and eventually the truth was bore out by evidence.

Sorry, but threatening to move in with an ex-boyfriend is not a normal healthy response to a spouse raising concerns!

I have to agree with the above statements. She covered her tracks, and you bought it. Look, women should not have male friends that exclude the spouses.........period! I suppose she has you believing that is what the modern couple of today does, but I will go further and tell you that they also get divorced.

Whenever a so-called "friendship" exist between opposite sexes where they have private messages, it is trouble brewing. This is not how to affair proof your M! So many young men these days think it falls into the whole equality thing.......but that is crazy. If people don't wake up and see what is happening, I'm afraid M's of the future generation are doomed.

There is another LBH here on the board, who was told by his W that her new friend was gay. Some of us tried to tell him that even if the man was gay, it didn't stop her from having an EA with him.........and whatever the guy was.......he was still having an inappropriate R with a married woman. I am going to tell you the same thing I told him.........you are being deceived. You totally took her word, only, b/c your feelings wanted to believe her.

Now, grow some b@lls and start wearing the pants in your family. Stop immediately apologizing to your W when you think she's upset at you. (If you are proven wrong, you can always go back and apologize at a later date). She played you like a fiddle.
And to make matter worse, you are going to put the money back into the account. You cannot be wish-wash like this. She is wayward and will ruin you financially, emotionally, and every way necessary in order to fulfill her selfish desires.

Grow a backbone b/c it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better. And the only hope of it getting better is for you to stop acting like her submissive little boy and start acting like a man. Every WW wants a real man who is not afraid to stand eyeball to eyeball with her and tell her the things he will not tolerate under his roof or in his M........and he's not afraid to back it up.

You cannot afford to believe anything she says. Sure you want to, but that doesn't do a thing to cause her to be truthful...... and certainly doesn't change the facts. It's time to wake up and get your manhood in gear.

Sorry if you find this too harsh, but I'm going to talk to you as if you were my grown son. You have to change your soft ways or you will lose your W for good. You are scared of losing her now, and that's why you allow her to do this to you? You are doing the opposite of what you need to be doing.

She will challenge you, lie, deceive, swear by all that's holy........and still be just as wayward and rebellious as ever. Why? B/c she doesn't respect you, and she won't as long as you let her b.s. you. You just have to let her know you aren't going to put up with it.

She has to see your strength. I think every woman, in a heterosexual MR, has one thing in common. She wants her H to be stronger than her. I am talking inner strength. She needs proof that she can not run over you and play games.

Decide your boundaries, and start getting them set down. Have you read the post about boundaries? Don't state a boundary until you can back it up with some consequence if it is dishonored.........Otherwise, you make a fool out of yourself.

Lose the fear of letting her go. That fear will keep you in a submissive position.