Hi Cali, oh goodness me! That's quite a turnaround isn't it. I can see why you would feel less receptive given your experience last time. And I would agree that your W does have a ton of work to do.

From what you post there is a ring of desperation and wanting to bounce back into the R with (and support from) you. Actually, what she needs to do is take the journey similar to the one you have taken - look within and work out how to move forward from there.

FWIW, I would think there needs to be a significant period of time with no OM - and no R with you either - and for her to be working on her own issues on that basis? How long? IDK...

I am fully D'd now - and much more detached WRT my XH. I'm not even sure if I would want us to R now. But what I struggle with is - if the MLCer is asking for another chance - and you're not sure if you want the door to be open or not. What do you do?

Anyway - you are sounding good and I'm glad to hear it xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus