I awoke to a lengthy text message thanking me for sending the update. He was not overtly "angry" about BIL but did say he was sick of some of his antics and will be addressing that with him.
The bulk of the text was about my hesitancy to tell him things about BIL. His exact words were, "Why on earth are you hesitant to tell me things like that?" He said he didn't understand it and all he could think was that I was afraid he would get mad at me for telling him stuff about his brother.
I texted back that I wasn't afraid of him getting angry at me and that I would try to explain later.
Before I left for the office, he texted and asked if I had time to talk. I said yes and he called. We caught up on some brief business stuff and then on to BIL.
Basically I told him that if BIL were any other employee I wouldn't hesitate to tell him things, but BIL is his brother and I didn't want to feel like I was causing family problems (I've told him this before). I also said that I don't always completely trust my opinions about BIL. I said BIL has his strengths and listed a couple but I just don't like working with him and listed a few reasons why. He didn't hear anything new unless he forgot what I said previously. He probably did.
H took it all in and said he understood that working with BIL wasn't like working with him. He said BIL is just doing "a job" and that's it. He doesn't have the passion or urgency that we had and still have.
That remark didn't really come across to me as defensive of BIL, but more as a way to explain BIL. Maybe he was trying to say I expect too much from BIL?? IDK. I don't think so because H no longer expects what he once did out of BIL. Who knows??
He went on to say to never fear or worry about telling him about things like the ones in the email. He said he needs to know this stuff, he needs to know what's going on in his company, that he's d@*ned glad I'm checking up on things and to please keep telling him what I find.
When he called into the office later he seemed fine. He called me sweetie and he tends to call ladies close to him sweetie when he's in a good mood.
I didn't say this to H, but if H were to fire BIL tomorrow, I'd celebrate. And that attitude scares me because I worry if I'm being objective. I want so badly for H to come back and take control of this company. It needs it. The business has suffered from H's neglect. And I fear that desire colors my objectivity when it comes to BIL because BIL is supposed to be filling H's shoes, so to speak. So there's this question ... is he really that bad or am I making him out to be because he isn't H and can't accomplish what H could/can? I know, that if I wanted to, I could make BIL look like the worst employee who ever walked through our door (actually, it wouldn't be difficult). But I try to be objective, push my personal thoughts aside, think of BIL as just another employee and treat him in the same manner I'd treat other employees (who don't affect my personal sitch). It's difficult. And that is one of the main reasons I hesitate to say anything to H about BIL. What a mess.
Job, I'm really looking forward to the trip. I have day one pretty much planned out but not day two. I may just go where the wind blows me that day.
This afternoon I head over to the dentist to get a crown on that discolored tooth. A prettier smile is on the way!
Me: 59 and holding H: :53 Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown M: 19 T: 23 BD: 9-23-2013
