1. I may be HD, but suppose sex were available, but I didn't like the way my wife treats me in general, and didn't think she cared what I wanted in sex. That would be really difficult.
2. It might be good to have sex anyway and try not to get bitter about it. But in some ways, that feels like the same compromise I'm making when I stay married and don't have sex. I suspect it might allow the compromise to involve less physical tension, at least.
This seems like it's about a lot more than sex.
Jonathan,
Thanks for your reply. I agree totally with your second point. I made a goal last week of accepting all offers for sex for the next two weeks as a starting point. Of course, H has not approached me for sex since I made that goal...go figure.
And yes, this is more than about just sex. But anytime I try to discuss anything that isn't about sex, H either accuses me of being overly dramatic (when I simply ask for something like "stop teasing me"). Basically, he shows no interest in changing the parts of the R that drive me up a wall. So I figure I have to work on fixing the sex part of the R before he will be willing to listen to me regarding the rest of the R. But like you said, it's difficult to really get fired up about sex when the sex itself isn't so hot.
