Why is Raven black?

[ciluzen]

Just journaling again so I can look back and learn from things, as I am apt to over-analyze everything. LOL.

My 10k was awesome! Beautiful day, great people, even ran into one of my little friends (she's twelve) who I didn't know was even doing the run. My foot was a little sore, but not bad. My meetup friends and I went to the craft fair that was near the lake afterward. I really enjoyed myself with them! Usually I go to those things alone and hustle through. This was much more fun, chatting with vendors and each other. Then lunch at the lakeside resort with great conversation.

Afterward, I went back to our river house and watched the dog playing in the water while I just sat in the sun and relaxed. H showed up as I was leaving and was preparing to trim the trees up. I asked if he wanted me to stay while he was using a ladder, and he seemed grateful for that. He also seemed to enjoy our dog's antics in the water. I left with the dog as soon as he finished.

Spent Memorial Day with my D25 and her H. Rode bikes to a local coffee shop with her H and then she and I walked to the beach near her home. She asked me to identify trees and plants she liked along the way since they are starting to landscape their new home. Had a long talk about my H...her feelings. It was nice to be her ear about the situation for a bit. We then had a BBQ at her in-laws...I found out I did pretty well at horse-shoes (first time I've played!). Nice group of people...I enjoy them more each time I see them.

I had to get home to sign some escrow papers with H. We did discuss the tractor situation again...he attempted to spew again and get angry... make it about me wanting money. Somehow I was able to be calm (too tired to react, I guess) and get him to understand that I just wanted to make sure he was doing what he wanted, since the money would actually help his situation more than mine. He is still very worried about getting rid of two vehicles that his dad wanted him to keep (one being the tractor)...and he still doesn't want them or know where to put them when the house sells. He got my point though, finally, I think. I let it go.

We talked more about the house sale and prep, what we would each want or not want, etc. I did throw in a quick, "I still wish you would change your mind" (too tired to DB well, but it was pretty weak) and he just ignored it. He then started talking about his office. We made eye contact the whole time as he talked about all of his tough or frustrating office issues and clients. Things he felt he could have done better. I listened and validated and asked questions. Until 11pm.

I'm starting to see that my new role in his life for now is to listen, to be that "therapist" that he can vent to rather than just a friend. He would never see any type of paid IC. Well...its good practice for what I'm going back to school for, at any rate. And I can detach a bit knowing that that is my new role. Hunh.