I know how it is. It's like having to find yourself from scratch. It's difficult and painful and slow.
Can you make a list of the things you like doing, or would be interested in doing? Trying some of those, along with working on AA, would really help fill up your time and your soul too.
Also, these have helped me when I've felt overwhelmed:
* print out a calendar of the month. Stick it on the back of your front door, or on a kitchen cabinet, or somewhere where you can see it. Every day that goes past that you don't have a drink, cross it off with a big cross in marker pen. It's really really satisfying to see all the crosses.
If you backslide, don't worry. Mark it up in red pen, or something different. Just start again with the crosses the next day. And soon you will have many more crossed off days in the month than not.
You can keep all your calendars too, and see the progress your making as the months go by.
* Break down the big tasks into little small chunks.
So I wanted to get rid of my H's stuff from my house, but it just seemed totally overwhelming.
I tried to start with his clothes, but it was too difficult, too emotionally draining. So I decided to start with boxing all of his tax return, and paper work stuff up. Then I did his books, then his CDs, then shoes, then clothes last.
It did take a while, but once I had broken it all down into different types of things, it was easier, and I felt like I was making a little progress too...I managed to CDs one afternoon, and then I could score that off my list.
I do get stuck with stuff quite a lot. On those days I don't beat myself up, but just try to pick on something really, really small I can do. As long as I'm slowly moving forward, then that's still progress, even if it's really, really slow. And it takes me slightly further along the path of becoming myself as well.
