Have i been making mistakes too long part 8

[tkdmme]

So, I went to church on Sunday. I was hoping the kids would be there. STBX said she was taking them. They weren't there. I took them to lunch and then they came over for a while but wanted to leave. They said this house makes them sad. This is crushing me.

Then yesterday was memorial day. I woke up early and finished s11 tree fort at the STBX place. She made sure I was uncomfortable. When was through I went home and worked on the house all day. I tried calling around 8 to tell the kids Goodnight. I finally got some9ne on the phone around 930. I lost my temper and said some things to STBX that I shouldn't have but why does she send me to voice mail. She knows I only want to talk to the kids.
I didn't sleep last night at all. I'm laying out of work today. This used to happen a lot at first but this is the first time in months that I didn't sleep at all.

I didn't go to AA but I didn't drink at all.
It seems that my kids don't want to be with me anymore. I feel abandoned by everyone.