continued detachment, anxiety, and joys of limbo

[Phoebe]

Oh, it still isn't my thing, SH!!! Thank you for the praise, though.

I mean, the walking friend hit on me the first time I met her, and the biking/L potential friend is male.

Danger, Will Rogers!

I am so incredibly naive in this department! I mean, I met H as a kid, really, and I've been out of the whole singles scene for my entire adult life. I never really learned how to navigate the waters.

I'm looking for friendship, and only friendship, but that may, or may not be what another person has in mind. I've lost any skill I once has in recognizing the difference. I thought by focusing on meeting women that I could eliminate any potential romantic issues, but even there I ran into deep water. I am astounding unsure of how to proceed. No way am I interested in anything romantic with anyone, but I do need and want friendship. I'm good at talking to people one on one, but dealing with these underlying currents... Not so much.

It doesn't help that for my whole life I have always 'clicked' better with men than women. I'm just not at all girly, so a lot of common feminine subjects don't resonate with me. I've never had a manicure, and I don't like shopping. I wouldn't recognize a Jimmy Choo if someone hit me over the head with one. My first best friend was a boy! It's the reason I was so bonded to H, and also a big reason I have had so few friends over the years. Marriage makes opposite gender friendships risky.

Anyway, I have a lot to learn about making friends, that's for certain. Fodder for therapy, I suspect.

JimKao, thank you for your good wishes and support.