What Should I be doing (4)

[J5K]

Coconut,

I don't know how much you know about my sitch but I could forgive my WW because she had an A just to spite me for filing for D which we then dismissed. When I had control of everything she was the puppy dog saying she wanted to be there for the boys and was all nice and then said she wanted to reconcile. I was the dumba$$ that was too nice and let her back in to the family thinking she wanted us and the boys and then found out she had an A and now I am in a much worse sitch than I was 4 months ago.

Would I forgive my W yes. Why, because I believe in marriage and want my boys to have one mom and dad. There would definitely have to be some hard work for my STBX to do in order for us to have our life again but I know I would prefer to have one W and only one in my lifetime.

I know I can walk confidently in front of my STBX's family and tell them I made mistakes and that I am remorseful and have changed. My STBX cannot do the same, h3ll she can't even talk to mutual friends of ours that live in the same city as her. Why, because STBX knows her actions hurt the family much worse than my actions.

I feel you are in a spot where you need to tread lightly and make sure that the steps are small and positive and on your terms. Your W needs to do the work. You don't have to be ready to know any more or any less about the A at this time. You will find forgiveness when you are ready. You will know if and when you are ready to forgive. Give it time because you still have a long road ahead of you. Your sitch seems to be moving in the right direction.