What Should I be doing (4)

[Coconut]

JimKao, that's a good question... I was just coming back to say that I'm
wondering if I'm trying to find a problem since there is no intamicy...

I really feel like she's doing everything she can to be totally transparent, she's even understanding when I have questions about things I find when looking through her phone, she's asked that I come to her with those questions so that I don't over analyze and create a big problem out of nothing.

I keep wondering if I've forgiven her for having the A... I kinda feel like I have, and I don't ask or wonder about the specifics anymore... BUT I know that I haven't forgiven her for the timing, it still very much upsets me that she started the A after our talk about what was bothering her about me (I started the conversation) and I immediately started fixing everything that she didn't like and even a few extra things. It pisses me off that she started the A when I was working to make our R better. So have I forgiven her, I'm guessing that means I haven't...

So how do I find forgiveness in my heart? I'm hoping it's something that becomes easier over time. I don't dwell on the Specifics of the A anymore, but the fact that there was one still looms in my mind. when figuring out timelines, I frequently find my self using the words pre and post A in my mind.