What Should I be doing (4)

[Coconut]

First R talk today in awhile.. W has her midterm coming up next week, so she has to study about 13 chapters for the test.. She was at home studying, then her fake boob friend asked if she would like to go to her station to study, wanted to go to the station instead of coming over to the house in case they got any calls. But I was fine with that.

Then after studying, W texts and says they are done studying and was going to the mall to look for work pants since the ones she has don't fit anymore. After about 45 mins, I do the find my iPhone thing (trust but verify) and it can't get her location. I wait a few minutes and try again, still can't find her, so I text to ask if she found anything and go to the mall (it's right across the street from our neighborhood). I go check where she usually parks and her cars not there, while continuing to find my iPhone and nothing. 10 mins after I text, she responds and says I'm in penny's buying conditioner (I check find my iPhone and she's there).

So I just go home, then she calls and asks if she should stop and get dinner, she could tell I was perturbed and asks what's wrong, I say I'm fine and tell her to get a sub for son, I'm not hungry.

She gets home and asks what's up, I told her I tried my find my iPhone and her phone was off, she spent 5 minutes explaining away (which makes sense, but doesn't mean I believe it). Then we start discussing.

Me - how do you feel about OM wife? I went on her FB page and she posted something that mentioned having babies and her mom was posting all excited about having grandkids.

Her - you don't know their story, they have issues just like we do. I don't worry about their relationship, just ours. I want to work on us, not them. Why do you go on her page?

Me - because I'm trying to figure out if I should tell her. You really don't think having an A is a big deal, do u?

Her - I feel horrible and regret doing it, but I am trying to get us back. I want to want you like I used to, I never thought about looking at someone else and I want that again.

Me - so how do I know you won't do it again when we have bad times.

Her - because honestly, if we fall into a rut like we did, I would divorce you instead of looking somewhere else, I don't want to live like that, and I now know an A isn't the way to fix that. Your the man I want to be with and I love you, and as long as you don't go back to how you were before, we can work through tough times, as long as your not disengaged from us.

Me - have you forgiven me?

Her - somewhat, I haven't fully forgiven you, but I'm working on it.

Me - do you think I've forgiven you?

Her - NO!!!

Conversation didn't go exactly like that, but key points are there, just journaling, but feel free to comment. I wanted to tell her that she just shoulda divorced me the first time, but I didn't. I still question if she truly understands the hurt her actions caused me, and if she really feels remorseful... She says many of the right things, but I want to really feel that she's remorseful.