HW, I've been mulling this over all weekend. When H was here last, he begged me to keep him informed about what was going on over here and actually used the term "eyes and ears." Prior to that, details about the ops here didn't seem all that important to him. But things have not gone as well as he hoped/expected they would while he's been MIA, so he's taking an interest again.
I've been sending him business updates once or twice a week as he requested. I made it pretty clear to H that I didn't care for the position I was in because I didn't want to affect his R with his brother. H said don't worry about it ... you're my partner and teammate.
Wonka, please feel free to offer support and advice anytime you like! I've already ordered the books! I also will try the crib notes idea. I'm not a confrontational type (although I've learned to stand up for myself over the past couple of years --- imagine that!) so that should help me when dealing with BIL. Thank you for the suggestions.
I wasn't going to send H's update when I knew he was awake unless I heard from him and I did receive a text this morning saying he was back from his trip and that he hoped I was having an enjoyable weekend. I said I hoped he enjoyed the trip and I'd be sending an update email a little later. (If I hadn't heard from him I would have sent the update later so he'd have it in the morning. I didn't want to initiate contact on a day when he wouldn't normally expect to here from me.)
So, I sent the email with all the normal, boring stuff and then moved on to BIL. I started that out with ...
"Now on to a couple of things I've been debating about telling you. I really don't like having to be the one "reporting" on your brother's doings. It's a very uncomfortable place to be. But you've asked me to be your eyes and ears and I figure if you were some other dude I was partnered with, I'd pass this along. And if any other employee were doing this stuff, you wouldn't tolerate it. So, despite my discomfort, here goes."
I then went into the two issues, but only reported facts and didn't offer any opinion at all regarding any of it.
I didn't get a reply, so I have no idea what his reaction is. It will depend on his mood. Sometimes he gets bent out of shape about stuff his brother does and other times he lets it slide. I'll know tomorrow.
Thanks again, HaWho and Wonka, for your replies.
One more week to go and then I invade NYC. I can't wait!
Me: 59 and holding H: :53 Me: 1 S, 1 D, both grown M: 19 T: 23 BD: 9-23-2013
