How to rekindle love?

[Rose888]

Our second counseling appointment turned into our last counseling appointment. Not because H changed his mind about participating, but because it was clear to both of us that she really didn't think she could do anything else for us.

So that was frustrating.

H has been gone since Thursday at a work conference. We're trying our new plan of reduced communication while apart. It feels healthier. I'm not constantly checking my phone.

I'm continuing to work on my own issues--not apologizing excessively, not being defensive, relaxing some of the internal rules I have for myself. Also reading a book on passionate marriage.

H is clearly trying to reconnect, and doing it in a way that shows he has been listening to me and is willing to make changes.

While H has been gone, I tackled a huge (for me) yard project--weeding all the flower beds and spreading over 4 cubic yards of mulch.

He gets back tonight, and I'm mentally working to not expect a certain reaction from him but to let my own feeling of accomplishment be enough of a reward for the work. (Generally, H is good about appreciating my efforts, but as part of detaching, I'm working to provide my own emotional needs.)

This weekend the kids and I did several things on my summer bucket list, mostly involving food. I also out the chain back on S10's bike, which is something I would typically put on H's list and then fret/nag until it was finished.