Looking for Support

[SH_]

Good morning ahmeds,

Google best books on codependency. I don't have a particular book that I could reccomend, but at this point I would encourage you to pick up several.
When I have a topic that is important for me I want to see many points of view and then align the common principles. For you at this point, any information will benefit. Even internet articles will get you started.
Now mind you the term codependency is based on one partner that typically has a substance abuse problem, but the theory has branched out from there.
When I read your posts, you are showing signs of codependency and that is why I highly recommend that you study up on the topic. I would encorage you speak with your IC as well. He/she should be able to assist you and may have some particular material or strategies for you.

You are right to avoid the snooping at this point. You do not sound to be in a position to handle that very well. Do not keep cutting the emotional wounds on yourself so to speak. One of my favorite movie lines that applies in real life so often comes from the movie The Matrix.
"Ignorance is bliss"
There is a reason that MWD advises against " snooping" when doing the LRT.
It is because it causes us more pain than it is worth. Please be strong and resist that urge. It does not matter why he bought whatever he bought.

I am going to give you some homework and be your accountability partner.
I expect that you take action and report back.
Find 1 book and 3 internet articles or videos about codependency today and start studying.
Tomorrow share your thoughts and feedback on what your studied.
Do you accept this challenge?

I will be here to support and push you.
We must get out of the bombing zone. We must heal our wounds.
We owe it to ourselves and our families, and God.

May today present you with some peace, and moments of joy ahmeds. You are a good person in a challenging situation. I will be here to support you