DDJ, I know you said it's pointless to blab about your WW, but I think you should get it out. Sandi2 is right, you tend to swing far left and far right, and I wonder if your not acting on emotion when you decided to move forward with D.
I wonder if you should use the LRT prior to moving forward, I know that when I put a strong ultimatum down (no contact or I'm starting D process) that was when things turned around in my sitch.
Have you already told WW that you are moving forward with D?
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized