Hey Coconut. I never posted for the wknd, as I needed to make my own decisions, taking in everything I have learnt over the two months, about myself and this "process". I could blab on about my WW and her incongruent actions and words over the past few days, but if i can't believe anything she says and 50% of what she does, it appears pretty pointless.
It's been 2 months and 3 days since BD, and this is what I have gained:
1 - A deepening R with God, one where I control only the things which I can, the rest i give to Him. I never knew Him before this 2 - A deep R with my mother, where I have been open and honest about (almost) everything. If our R was at 30%, it is now at 90% 3 - Friends that I "never knew" that I had, that truly care about me 4 - Extended and close family that have helped me when I was on my worst, cementing relationships that I once took for granted 5 - A better understanding of what it takes to be a better father to my son, making the hard decisions to instil discipline that was sorely lacking, and in turn disciplining myself and my WW 6 - A new found purpose in life, and a better understanding of what we call UBUNTU (pronounced uu-boon-too) which means "humanity towards others".
What i have lost: 1 - A marriage, as I am completing the filing of my D 2 - A WW that is broken, an alcoholic, a liar, a cheat, someone who is now smoking weed with OM2, and someone who decided to not love or care about me a very long time ago.
So, to sum up, I have gained a new life, I am becoming the pheonix I spoke about a few weeks back. I am losing a M, yes, but sometimes when you it appears that things are falling apart, they are actually just falling into place.
I must see what God is telling me, I believe that He is saying, GET OUT, the time is right.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.