First post - Need help!!

[Phoebe]

What SadHub says is way too true, Kyle. There is nothing new under the sun. I once though my sitch was "different," too. It's the same old stuff, different couple, slight variations.

Our spouses say and do things that are so similar that it is downright scary. I've heard things from my H's mouth that might well have been written down in a play. You've heard those same phrases, too. You just haven't been here long enough to recognize the script, I'm sorry to say.

My H told me that he felt inferior to me! Well, a lot of other people have heard the same exact thing. He said he had no identity outside of being my husband. Guess what? Lots of people have heard the same thing.

So what am I trying to say... you are in good company, with people who are right there in the same boat as you, or who are may be a few lengths ahead in the flotilla. Try hard to listen to what they are saying.

Fighting for your M in any way that is all obvious, is pursuit. Pursuing someone who is already scared and distancing is the worst thing you can do. "Fight" for your marriage by working on yourself and letting your wife do what she needs to do on her own.

I know it's hard. I'm struggling, too.