WW confused about the future.

[Zues126]

My WW asked me to leave the house and I did. I know it's against DB advice in general, but my IC said differently. He said in this day and age it was incredibly easy for a woman to get a man kicked out of the house with trumped up abuse charges, and that could impact future custody as well. I was better off moving on. Personally to me a house is just a possession and can be replaced, so I left.

For 5 months I was staying with friends. But here's the point- my DB coach told me it was *imperative* I got my own place. She said as long as I was staying with friends and visiting the children at the old house, it would seem to WW that I was peering in the windows trying to get back in. And that for her and for me I needed my own space.

I got my apartment and it was the best thing I've ever done. Looking back, that was right around when I was first able to start truly letting go. Sure, it was lonely at first when my children weren't around. And some of the hardest times of my life were when I dropped my kids off back with their mom and had to leave.

But it didn't take long for this apartment to become my home. It is small, way too small, but then again it is cozy. All 3 kids sleep in one bedroom. But we spend time together. They play together. We read together. It is very close family time, which I know they need. Now we'll move in few months so this apartment turned out to last 2 years, but while I'm excited about a nicer place and the kids having their own room, I'm a little sad about the end of this era. I'll never forget the time we spent here, it turned out to be about as good as it gets.

I'm not sure where you're living, but I think getting your own place to live would be a good move, and having the kids over at your place even better. Then do what you have to do to get 50% parental time.

Trust me, instead of feeling like you're missing out, WW will start to see she is missing out when you're living a full life with your children without her.

And, as in my case, if she is too far gone to register, then you are also rebuilding a life that you can feel good about without her.

You've put all of your eggs in the basket of her changing for far too long now. Time to assume she won't and lead your children.