Hi jjb and sunny, Thanks for weighing in. I really appreciate your views.
I don't begrudge kid's time with the x or his family. In fact I am grateful that the xfil and sil love her. As an only child, she enjoys the company of her cousins as well.
I don't want kid to go out of the country because of safety and legal issues. When kid is old enough to fend for herself, I will let her go on trips with them. Until then, I only trust myself with kid overseas. I am extremely upset because taking kid out of the country is not in the agreement.
Yet, they are using kid to make me bend to their will.
And it really tears me apart to see the pain that kid goes through. It's the mama bear instinct to rip apart anyone who tries to hurt my baby.
I am proud of myself for being able to tell x in a rather civil manner that no means no. Explained my concerns precisely and refused to engage in any heated discussions.
Not a doormat (though my friends would beg to differ) but not a biatch either. And to think that this was a lesson decades in the making.
In other news, this issue affected the way I handled a disagreement with a colleague. Said colleague refused to meet the deadline even though I had given her ample notice. Insisted that there was no way she could complete her job ( would have taken her 1 or 2 days max) even when I tried to explain how her refusal would cause a major delay in the whole organisation.
Frustrated, I finally took the matter to my superior who told me to refer the colleague to her. I replied that I would give the colleague till next Monday. Said colleague might have caught wind of the situation because I managed to get my report the same evening.
I try to bear in mind that the colleague was not my monkey. Yet on the other hand, I wonder if things would have ended on a more amiable note if I had validated her concerns and tried to help her see how it would be advantageous for her if she kept to the deadline. I was civil and all but I threw all dbing skills to the wind as I was so angry over the issue with x.
Yet another news flash. Why do I feel like x is dbing me instead? This raises my suspicions because he sounded like how he did in the early months after BD, when he was trying to nice me into a speedy divorce so that he could move into the TP'S love shack with her 2 children and marry her.
I have to concede that TP is persuasive to say the least.
Once they realised that I wasn't going to expose them or stop the divorce, Hyde took over and Jekyll only made sporadic appearances.
This time round, no more Ms Doormat. I will fight tooth and nail to protect kid and myself.
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
