Chapter 2, She moved out - I win! I think

[bigybiz]

EDF and all others:

Thanks for taking the time for the detailed posts. I guess I'm waving the white flag. Yes, I'm attached. So yes, I will reread the homework on detachment and do some extra googling on the topic.

I guess the honest response is - in the past, when needing to get over hurt, loss, etc - I typically would busy myself (school, work, hobbies, friends, etc). Eventually, the hurt, loss, etc would move to the background and then fade away.

So this is my 1st 20 + year relationship that has gone bad. So I thought I was doing the right thing by busying myself. BTW my D20 says I have too many hobbies and I'm not allowed to take guitar lessons.

As I've said before - with W moving out, it makes it easy to "go dark" and for sure the pursing will stop - out of sight out of mind right.

The honest answer is, I like the improvements I've made and I really like the fact that my W can't help herself and notice. Further, she makes the occasional remark e.g. just today she said the back yard looks great and really likes the new items I added to the tree house.

So, the next step will be detachment. Sounds easy but it ain't.

On the plus side, today when she came over with her list of demands regarding - visitation, support, etc. I just listened and told her that I'm not going to respond until I had a chance to think about it etc. I told her I had some question and to let me know when she is free to discuss. I reminded her once and did not hear back. I left it alone. Now, I'll wait to hear.

As my long time readers/listeners know, I love the practical. Does anyone have an practical tips on how to detach? The thought stopping, etc.

Give me your feedback please!!!