continued detachment, anxiety, and joys of limbo

[SH_]

Oh I do hope the lil bird is okay. Crazy birds running into windows.

And it is good to hear you found some laughter.

Anyway, that little meditation has some more meaning to me other than being funny.
My youngest brother went through a dark time in college mentally and while he was on some pain meds he screwed around with a gun. He said thoughts of suicide crossed his mind, but he did not do it. He told someone after as a way to unload it from his chest, and this created a series of events that forever changed his life. Therapists, meds, therapy, loss of opportunities due to therapists and meds, etc,

The point he shares with me and his turning that around for himself, was the day he sat down and said. "F*ck this sh!t and anyone that does not accept me for who I am."

He promptly stopped taking the meds, discontinued seeing the therapists, and swears he has been fine ever since. He is very successful and fears very little. He did take other steps to get his fear out, like jumping out of planes, riding motorcycles etc. But he has been a rock for me in my time of need and I did not understand his story as he would share it with me and tell me I am not broken as I was feeling. i am starting to understand it now, and when I heard this meditation. it was perfect. Funny, but has meaning as well.

I hope my little story here distracts you for a few minutes, and maybe has a nugget of hope for you.

I am still checking in on you .