The list I was reading from Sandi2 said she should take a hit with a hard, maybe painful consequence of some kind.
I think this is when she knows the H is aware she's lying and there is some type of inappropriate contact with a third person.
I had to laugh when I read about her packing and wanting you to stop her, then sitting in the car wanting you to go get her. This is so typical of women.
I agree that you should confront her. My point in the WW threads about confrontation is for the H not to think confrontation, alone, is going to stop the A or wake her up. Many men think it will shock the W back into sanity again, or to see remorse......but it doesn't work. Confrontation should be to inform her that you know the truth and you plan to take steps to protect yourself. He doesn't have to tell what those plans are. He is not the one in the hot seat.
In your case, I believe you need to approach her and inform her that you know she's been deceitful. If she starts pulling you in by asking, "How, when, what did she do", don't start giving her details, b/c she is going to lie her way around it. Don't reveal your souce of intell, b/c she will turn it around and make it all about you invading her privacy. Just tell her you are aware and you will not tell her how you received the information (as though someone might have told, instead of suggesting you read it).
Whenever things arise about the money, her not sleeping with you, etc., just tell her, "I believe if the situation were reversed, you would have no problem understanding where I stand at this time".
Here's the thing........do not argue with her. Don't avoid her, but don't try to "explain" your reasons for what you do. She knows perfectly well why! It's just a woman's way of pulling in the man to argue and someway try to make him think he is wrong. Make your statement, then turn around and walk away.
Another response you can give when she is wanting something crom you is, "Considering the situation, I'm sure you will understand my refusal".
With a wayward, you must stand up to her. You simply cannot show a few moments of strength and then cave b/c she's squeezing out some tears or having a pity party. You did great the other night.....until she complained about her poor back. It may feel or sound cold, but you have to toll the line, b/c she will manipulate you like crazy. She has manipulated you all this time.
Did you search for no more mr. nice guy?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
