I am back! I had a wonderful time on my trip. The weather was great, the drinks, the food, the company. I was utterly relaxed the whole time. D8 called crying for the first day or 2 and the night before I left. She just doesn't like me being so far away. We facetimed morning and night, and she was fine. ex handled things for the most part with the help of his sister who got her to and from swimming, which I am thankful for, because she prefers her over the grandfather.
I burnt like you wouldn't believe despite sunscreen, but I am turning tanner than I have ever been in years, put on a few pounds which are coming off. The best part of the vacation was the beach butler, who if you tip them $15 a day, they treat you like royalty. She went to the beach where they make the jerk chicken everyday and had just delivered it to us wiout asking, brought us drinks she thought we would enjoy without asking, and chased me down with frozen aloe when she saw how badly I was burnt. This was probably my favorite part of the trip. No one does for me ever in real life. It was so nice ot have someone think of me and get something for me. A little awkward because I'm not used to it.
I even went back to work the next day and they gave us a half day. Score!
Mentally, it was nice to have my first few days in a the last 2 months where I didn't cry. Where my anxiety was almost non-existent. And I did bring some of that home with me. Back to normal life.
I had hoped exNG would leave my mind. He hasn't. There was so much there I knew he would enjoy. But I have come to accept he may just be a part of my thoughts. No taking them over, but just a part of them. Accepting that is easier than trying so hard ot rid myself of them and getting mad at myself when I can't. That just made me more frustrated. I don't want to always be frustrated and pissed at myself because I am having feelings I think I shouldn't have. That's not being nice to myself.
My class if over, I got my best grade yet. 2 weeks off now. I'm pretty busy, which is good. Tonight, my friends and I are going ot our favorite spot to do an early bday celebration since on my birthday weekend, we are celebrating another friend.
I'm feeling pretty good. I need ot do this every 6 months!
