What Should I be doing 3

[sandi2]

I apologize to all LBH'S for appearing as to minimize the degree of the affects an A has on a MR. That was far from my intentions. I should have explained it was the feelings of a WW.

I was strictly speaking from that position I was in when I came to the board as a WW who was trying to work through my issues and stay in my M. My point was about my feelings and how it affected me, as a WW, to see self-righteousness (IMHO) in a few of the LBH'S. I think it was hitting a raw nerve in me.........and perhaps I'm projecting when I say I think it could be the case with a lot of WW's trying to get back on track with her MR. If she still has resentment, she's likely to bristle if she senses any self righteous attitude in her H.

Those LBH'S probably meant it the way you stated, Zues, but I was reading it as though they were saying infedility was the worst sin in the world (not just in the M). As a WW, I was very defensive about it, and my resentment would quickly turn on my H. I just would not accept, at that point, that he was so much better.......more right....... than me.......b/c my mindset was not ready to take full responsibility for the hurt I had caused. (At that time I had not felt true remose). I could not accept that it was the worst thing I could ever do. My guilt was stinging.

I meant to just tell H's who were in Coconut's shoes at the point of "holding her feet to the fire", to be careful about giving her the impression he was looking down at her.

((LBH'S ))