i can only guess, that you are in the situation i was in when i was separated for 6 months or so. when i was there, i wanted her back. i would have done pretty much anything to get her back. i was nice to her in every way. accommodating, friendly etc. basically a push over. im not saying that you are, thats just how i was.
she could see it, taste it, smell it. and she would feed me crumbs just to keep me around.
i wanted to detach from her, but i just couldnt do it. every crumb she gave me, i came running back in false hope. she was playing me big time, even though she swore she wasnt.
i eventually got tired of it,distanced myself a little bit and i went to a lawyer and told her that i did so. and BANG! her tune changed immediately. all of a sudden she wanted to get back together. but as i later found out, it was out of fear of losing me. we spent the next several months back and forth dating and distance. i was still kissing her butt all the time. and we failed miserably.
then i joined this group, started using the forums. reading sandis rules, got a coach, bought both books. but the big this was that i was ready. you have to be ready. ready to leave for real. ready to throw it all away. ready to move on. the switch in my brain clicked over.
when that happened, the game changed totally. i stopped counting hours or days of NC with her. i scoffed when she texted me and didnt want to be bothered by her.
until you get there, you guys will play this game for ever.
now the game has changed, im not out of the water yet. and i still have times of weakness. but it is sooooo much better for my mind body and soul. and it seems to be working.
time is on your side brother. look at it this way. last november you started a 2 year clock of hell. sink or swim, its your choice.
